Their New Pet
by Kipli
Summary: CoxJD JordanElliot: Challengefic: Ready to claim Jack for the week, Jordan and Elliot show up at Cox and JD's apartment with a new pet...


_**Title:**_ Their New Pet  
_**For:**_ _scrubsfichallng _- challenge#8: just jordan  
_**Author:**_ Kipli  
_**Email:**_ Kipli at livejournal dot com  
_**Series:**_ Scrubs  
_**Pairing:**_ Cox/JD, Jordan/Elliot  
_**Rating:**_ PG  
_**Word Count:**_ 900  
_**Summary:**_ Ready to claim Jack for the week, Jordan and Elliot show up at Cox and JD's apartment with a new pet...  
_**Notes:**_ Fluff, fluff, fluff. heh I had the hardest time figuring out something slightly different that included Jordan for this challenge. So I went with my usual. Fluff and humor.

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Their New Pet

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"What in the hell is **that**?" Perry growls beside me. He tightens his hold on Jack as he eyes the... thing in Elliot's arms.

"What in the hell do you **think** it is, Per? It's a dog!" Jordan lets out an all suffering sigh, rolling her eyes dramatically. "Ya know, _wo_man's best friend?"

Perry frowns at them still standing just outside the door to our apartment. "**That **is not a dog."

The, er, thing in Elliot's arms stares at me with it's googlie eyes--how do those things stay **in **it's head?!--and I swear it lifts it's lips to grin manically at me, baring it's little white fangs. Was that a cackle or a bark?

"I think it's a naked rat with a mohawk," I finally declare. 

"Mister Pimpernel is **not** a rat," Elliot scolds me, lifting the dog up to kiss it on his cheek, and slips into high pitched baby talk. "No no no. He is just the cutest little Chihuahua there is, isn't that right, Mister Pimpernel? Hm hm?"

The, um, dog yips in her arms and laps at her chin, nearly hitting her lips with his tiny tongue. 

Oh god, she's letting it lick her!

Perry makes a disgusted growl before snapping, "Don't do that in public, Barbie, for christ sake."

Jordan only seems to be amused by Perry and I's mutual distaste for the... dog. She reaches to muss with Mister Pimpernel's poofed head of hair, the only fur **on** the dog. "DJ, don't worry, he won't dry up your citywide supply of hair gel. Unlike you, this comes naturally."

His hair stands up like that all on it's own?! Damn lucky rat dog monster... 

"Unlike the rest of that 'dog'," Perry says, making the quotations in the air himself. "Tell me, did you shave that poor beast or was it the decades of inbreeding that did that to him?"

"He is a beautiful, full blooded, **expensive** Chihuahua."

"So it was the inbreeding then?" 

Elliot ignores him and turns to me, holding Mister Pimpernel out toward me. "Look! You can see his freckles."

"Dogs don't have freckles," I mutter as I take a step back away from Mister Pimpernel. He bares his little white fangs at me again. Are those whiskers or just part of his goatee?

"This one does!"

"Hence his point there, Barbie."

Jordan pins us both down with her firm glare. "Okay boys, really, as much fun as it is to have you mock our choice in pet, we really couldn't give a rat's ass--" So that's what a rat's ass looks like... "--what you two think about him. He's ours and we're keeping him and so now if you'll just hand us over Jack for the week, we can get back to being a happy little family without **you** two morons anywhere nearby."

"Oh no, Jorderoo. You're not getting Jack with that **thing** residing at your place. It'll gnaw Jack's head clean off in the night."

"It's true," I pipe up. "Rats do that. I have seen it in movies." 

"He is not a rat!" Elliot yelps.

Jordan's gaze focuses on Perry as she folds her arms across her chest. "Fine. Then get rid of that rotting, dead dog sitting in **your** apartment. I find it unsanitary and completely inappropriate for children."

How **dare** she! I gasp at her, "Rowdy is perfectly safe and great with kids and you know it!"

"Whatever you say, Sally, but if we have to get rid of Mister Pimpernel then **you** have to get rid of Rowdy."

"I can't just get **rid** of Rowdy!"

"Oh please, just toss him into a dumpster somewhere. He'll be fine, I'm sure." 

I whimper at the image of Rowdy all alone in a dank, dirty dumpster... howling to the moon at his poor, sad state... only to be set upon and torn to pieces by a dozen Mister Pimpernel clones.

"Bad doggie's minions!" I suddenly shout at Mister Pimpernel, thrusting a finger at him, only to have it snapped at and nearly bitten off.

"See!" Perry barks. "That **dog** is dangerous."

"Oh, who can blame him for disliking DJ." 

"Doctor Cox," Elliot pleads, voice hitting that pitch that I know sends Perry's hairs on end. "I swear we won't leave Jack alone with him. And Mister Pimpernel sleeps with us. He won't be able to sneak off in the night."

Wow. Poor dog. And ew.

Perry shifts his glare to Elliot. "Fine." Then his look hardens as he growls, "But I'm blaming **you** Barbie if anything happens to him."

Elliot rightfully gulps at the responsibility handed to her shoulders. God help her if Jack even manages to get a scratch... 

Perry lets out a long breath before finally handing Jack over to Jordan. He points a finger at Jack. "You stay away from that rat dog, Jack-ster. You hear me?"

Jack babbles before resuming chewing on his fist, his unsure gaze glancing over at the dog in Elliot's arms. Mister Pimpernel simply eyes Jack like he's dinner...

Jordan flashes us an overly sweet smile. "Well, it's been fun as ever, boys!" And immediately slams the door shut herself as they quickly rush off with Jack.

Perry frowns at the door a moment before muttering to himself, "My son is going to be mauled by a rat..."

"At least it's a rat with fabulous hair."

And Perry snorts as he shoves me toward the bedroom. "Don't be jealous, Delilah."

END


End file.
